There's the door.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the wonder of the universe- no matter where I go, even if it's to 6000 miles away from my most recent port of call, there will be a strange phenomenon: "I hate you. Call me!"

For some reason that is beyond my limited powers of understanding (well, I'll try later, but I welcome you, fellow travelers', interpretations), I seem to attract a small subset (within the larger ring of friends) of people who REALLY don't like me, approve of me, or genuinely enjoy interacting with me, yet still want to hang out with me, in fact, insinuating themselves into my life with the longevity and tenacity of weatherproof caulking.

Now, the usual reasons would be sexual attraction, I've got something they want, or money (ie, I'm buying the "friendship" of toxic courtiers.

BUT NO!

Some of these have been gay men, straight women, or people who are clearly not attracted to me. Also, let's point out that while I am a hot number, I'm no movie star and my looks, while suitable, are not "dazzling." I am just not the type of person people become "obsessed" with. Really.
Also, these people tend to be fiercely proud, not even accepting a dutch treat, in fact, a few of them have adopted a kind of parental role, giving me gifts or loaning me the occasional 20 spot to last me until payday. So it's not that I'm so loaded....

The thing is, these people fundamentally don't like me, but are, for some reason, drawn to hang out with me anyway. What is UP with that?

My most recent addition to this galaxy is a coworker who, while I was uploading my photos on Facebook (we were killing time waiting to go to a movie), had something scathingly critical to say about every single one (they were all photos of locations or stuff, thank god.) "Oh, nice trash on the street. Oh, here's my useless shoes. Oh, here's another pointless photo."

I felt the same feeling I had when another of these types punched me hello one time after a long absence: "Something is off here. What is going on?"

To be honest, I would break it down thusly:

Some people (usually with SUPER shitty childhoods) feel that they had to scrape and bite for everything they have (and they indeed most likely did!) and they are both jealous of and desirous of people who seem "charmed" (HA! if only they knew). I precipitate (if that's the right word) this illusion with my fab bachelor pad, fun international friends, free and easy travels around the world, and my own blessed family. It's something I think Kez has experienced as well- people who seemingly really don't like her, yet hang around her anyway.

The thing is...I have my own vulnerabilities too, but these types are so caustic that to reveal any cracks in the facade of my life to them would be social suicide, thus they doom themselves to eternal Pan-hood, always looking in the window at a cheery fire and homey domestic scene they both want and fear equally.

But what do you think? And Reeni, yes I will tell you who I'm thinking of but I don't want to point fingers in a public blog, as you never know who's reading it!!