You WHAT?

Ill advised texts I've gotten from men that make me want to go gay for Shane McCutchen.

"Hey Inky, let's start up the friendship (DRAMA) again, ha ha."

"Hey, can you do me a favor and find out if I passed my certification, thanks Miss Naomi."

"So is not answering text messages the new thing or is everyone busy?"

"Hey we can hang out but I don't really want to "do that", okay?"

"OMG they're selling the most beautiful coffin right now near Pure Gold!"

"Hu dis? (which was a pretty rad response to my nuclear telling off that preceded it)

"Hey if it's okay with you can we not tell the workmates that we hung out?"

"Depression." (This is the only answer I got in response from multiple "Are you okay? How come you aren't texting me? texts to the guy I was actively dating at the time!)

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to come over today and there's something I need to talk to you about" (this was the only breakup text or explanation I ever got from this guy).  We never did "talk."

People, these were all from different offenders. 

And...drum roll.... The latest:

Okay, so at my work are some very cute boys- I must say the level of attractive, well dressed, English speaking, intelligent guys is MUCH higher here. Like there are some. Heh.

Anywayz, I met this guy my first day here who is a team member and also a new hire, he's been there for a few weeks longer than I but he's still "a newbie". His name is *redacted  He's for sure my type- string bean thin, with dark skin and long wavy curly hair. He really has a sense of style, like wearing a rock tee shirt and a perfectly fitted blazer with jeans on a Friday.

 So we hit it off right away and I could swear I felt "something" there, we were kind of flirting in the most mild way- like him loaning me money to buy a snack and showing me how to use the office coffemaker, etc. (this is the Filipino version of flirting, it revolves around food. The usual 'howYOUdoin' " line here is "have you eaten?")

And he gave the giveaway move, which is "explaining" that Filipino men are "shy to ask you out" (a precursor to every man I've ever dated making his move- or what passes for a move over here, which is orbiting me looking cute until I ask him out) while giving me the "sex eyes".

He also wangled a way to ask for my number (ostensibly to text me about where he and the rest of the team was going to eat). So I sort of thought something might be going on; he did that dude peacock thing where men ill advisedly brag about all the dames they've bagged in an attempt to make you gasp at their studliness. Heh.

So Saturday night at midnight (not as rude as it might have been, since we all work overnights, and 12 MD is more like 12 NN to us) I get the "Hey how's it going?" text. I told him I was watching Anderson Cooper and drinking coffee and he texts me back with THIS:

"I'm out drinking and this risque white lady just walked into the bar and reminded me I have a new white contact. LOL. Connection? (he means "coincidence"} I need a wingwoman and a drinking buddy! Ha ha hiqx" (hiqx is slang for "I'm so drunk")

Words kind of failed me here for a moment and then I decided to play it cool while sort of schooling him that appearing to ask your coworker to get out of bed at midnight to go across town to help you pick up OTHER WHITE CHICKS isn't cool. I sort of feel this was a misfire on his part- like "I don't want to ask her out OUT, so let me fake it like we're dude bros and take it from there". But wow.

So I told him "I'm sure you don't have any problems getting the ladies. Anyways, where are you?"

He told me via text and then backed the truck up a little (oh crap I'm drunk! Shit! I'm blowing it!) and was like "uh, am I waking you up?"

The bottom line is I politely declined his offer to come out there (which he made, with the "gallant" warning that he was "toxic" (their phrase for "faced" or "trashed", but truer words have likely never been spoken) and gently schooled him "I'd for sure like to hang out some time, I'd rather start our evening together, so next time text me earlier."

He was pretty excited over that one (answer was in Taglish) "Tama! Cge, cge (for sure, right on). Next time, I'm game, I'll text you early :)"

But FOR SHEEZY! His stock kind of plummeted with that series of ill advised texts.

I mean, there's no reason to go super bitch on his ass, but I can't be "Giggle, Giggle, sure I'll get in a cab at midnight on the OFF CHANCE I might get me some hot action from YOU." groan. no way. I feel like I handled it right: showing him I have pride and a backbone while still leaving the door open and not being super harsh like "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" I really wasn't that upset, I chalked it up to "boneheaded hitting on attempt number 9 million" that I've endured while over here.

One for the Road

Well, with my bindle over my shoulder (shout out to Jessica K!)I took off to the big city yesterday. I've been planning to move to Manila for some months now, and ever since the InterNations party, it's been just a matter of time. Manila is very like NYC- the prices are high, the luxury stores are many (I'm in a mall right now that has Louis Vuitton, Prada, and Marc Jacobs right now, and not "Marc Jakkobs" or "Louiz Vitton" etc!) and the food makes you gain weight looking at it. There are many reasons why I wanted to move here, but in short:
1) More expats. In Clark, getting stared at (and I mean really STARED at, like eyes burning a hole in me) was an everyday, all day occurrence. I was over that in about a month.

 2) Clark is a nice, sleepy bedroom community suitable for families and retirees. I am neither. Clark is, even in the kindest mention by guidebooks, "not very much to look at". It's culturally barren. Because of its central location to the provinces, most people here are rural and provincial and make me feel like Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast singing "There must be more to life than this provincial town" with my nose in a book.

3) Manila offers much more opportunities for career advancement. So to make a long story short, after almost two years of solid (dare I say, even "very good") performance at my current post, I took the plunge and chased after (and landed!) a new post in the same company. A promotion and a 10% raise followed, and now I'm on the Instructional Design Team.

 The process of getting there I'll detail later, because I'd rather talk about how KEWL my new digs are and how happy I am to be here, finally! I have been to Manila a handful of times, each time clocking the city a bit more, and having been in the Philippines for almost 2 years now, I feel much more comfortable finding my way around and figuring out what's what.

 So I looked up budget apts in Makati (the area of town my work is in) and found a little place that's a residential hotel for a reasonable rate. Water, hot water heater, electric, cleaning and all the basics (such as a few plates and flatware-- my plates are from that well known restaurant "Pizza 10-4")are included in the very reasonable rent, which can be paid in advance but in any allocation you like (daily, weekly, monthly, etc).

 I checked the online recommendations and then sort of closed my eyes and wired them a one day deposit. I arrived around 2 pm and requested the 3rd (top) floor so I wouldn't be disturbed by the amateur clog-dancer one always encounters when one accepts the mid floors. The place is about 400 square feet or so (I'm notoriously bad at estimating such things, but it's about as big as a studio apt), and it's major selling point (in my eyes) is that the bedroom is partitioned off (via a wall of drywall that's about 6 feet high, topped with sections of corrugated glass.

It's kind of like a set from a 1960's movie about a hospital, so naturally I love it. It's very spare and neat, with the unexpected luxury of excellent hardwood floors in what looks to be very expensive, well preserved heartwood in a dark chocolate brown, and real marble counter tops and shower walls. The sink is a sunken square of all marble. These touches, combined with the surprisingly good art and the light fixtures (the fact that there ARE any is a boon and a rarity)makes it delightfully chic, in a very 1970's art student way. There's a press board wardrobe for clothes, and the bathroom fixtures are a lovely mint blue.


 Someone else might recoil at the flaws (among them the flimsy rusty-black painted trim and doors, the lack of a toilet paper roll holder (!!!), the only-florescent lights,the miniature furniture in a style that was a bit over even when it was made and the (almost stereotypical) 'view of an air shaft' out the window.

 But I tell you, it's really somehow me. I might even just move in there and call it a day. The view from the common area is lovely and the neighborhood is a nice mix of residential with just a few small shops in it-- the apartelle (as they're called here) is down a side street with blessedly little noise and very few families can

 afford to relax in "high style" at the place, so I'm not plagued by the drippy-nosed under 3 set and their ambulance screams.

Once again, Channel 23 has come through for me, and HOW! plates