"Hey Inky, let's start up the friendship (DRAMA) again, ha ha."
"Hey, can you do me a favor and find out if I passed my certification, thanks Miss Naomi."
"So is not answering text messages the new thing or is everyone busy?"
"Hey we can hang out but I don't really want to "do that", okay?"
"OMG they're selling the most beautiful coffin right now near Pure Gold!"
"Hu dis? (which was a pretty rad response to my nuclear telling off that preceded it)
"Hey if it's okay with you can we not tell the workmates that we hung out?"
"Depression." (This is the only answer I got in response from multiple "Are you okay? How come you aren't texting me? texts to the guy I was actively dating at the time!)
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to come over today and there's something I need to talk to you about" (this was the only breakup text or explanation I ever got from this guy). We never did "talk."
People, these were all from different offenders.
And...drum roll.... The latest:
Anywayz, I met this guy my first day here who is a team member and also a new hire, he's been there for a few weeks longer than I but he's still "a newbie". His name is *redacted He's for sure my type- string bean thin, with dark skin and long wavy curly hair. He really has a sense of style, like wearing a rock tee shirt and a perfectly fitted blazer with jeans on a Friday.
So we hit it off right away and I could swear I felt "something" there, we were kind of flirting in the most mild way- like him loaning me money to buy a snack and showing me how to use the office coffemaker, etc. (this is the Filipino version of flirting, it revolves around food. The usual 'howYOUdoin' " line here is "have you eaten?")
And he gave the giveaway move, which is "explaining" that Filipino men are "shy to ask you out" (a precursor to every man I've ever dated making his move- or what passes for a move over here, which is orbiting me looking cute until I ask him out) while giving me the "sex eyes".
He also wangled a way to ask for my number (ostensibly to text me about where he and the rest of the team was going to eat). So I sort of thought something might be going on; he did that dude peacock thing where men ill advisedly brag about all the dames they've bagged in an attempt to make you gasp at their studliness. Heh.
So Saturday night at midnight (not as rude as it might have been, since we all work overnights, and 12 MD is more like 12 NN to us) I get the "Hey how's it going?" text. I told him I was watching Anderson Cooper and drinking coffee and he texts me back with THIS:
"I'm out drinking and this risque white lady just walked into the bar and reminded me I have a new white contact. LOL. Connection? (he means "coincidence"} I need a wingwoman and a drinking buddy! Ha ha hiqx" (hiqx is slang for "I'm so drunk")
Words kind of failed me here for a moment and then I decided to play it cool while sort of schooling him that appearing to ask your coworker to get out of bed at midnight to go across town to help you pick up OTHER WHITE CHICKS isn't cool. I sort of feel this was a misfire on his part- like "I don't want to ask her out OUT, so let me fake it like we're dude bros and take it from there". But wow.
So I told him "I'm sure you don't have any problems getting the ladies. Anyways, where are you?"
He told me via text and then backed the truck up a little (oh crap I'm drunk! Shit! I'm blowing it!) and was like "uh, am I waking you up?"
The bottom line is I politely declined his offer to come out there (which he made, with the "gallant" warning that he was "toxic" (their phrase for "faced" or "trashed", but truer words have likely never been spoken) and gently schooled him "I'd for sure like to hang out some time, I'd rather start our evening together, so next time text me earlier."
He was pretty excited over that one (answer was in Taglish) "Tama! Cge, cge (for sure, right on). Next time, I'm game, I'll text you early :)"
But FOR SHEEZY! His stock kind of plummeted with that series of ill advised texts.
I mean, there's no reason to go super bitch on his ass, but I can't be "Giggle, Giggle, sure I'll get in a cab at midnight on the OFF CHANCE I might get me some hot action from YOU." groan. no way. I feel like I handled it right: showing him I have pride and a backbone while still leaving the door open and not being super harsh like "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" I really wasn't that upset, I chalked it up to "boneheaded hitting on attempt number 9 million" that I've endured while over here.
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