Movie reviews! Part 2,789:

Crazy, Stupid,Love:

This review says it far better than I could, so check it out:
http://antagonie.blogspot.com/2011/08/crazy-is-as-crazy-does.html

not that I won't still try!!

Okay, first hand me a bib for my drool over Ryan Gosling. I mean, is it just the perfect body, the cute face? The slight, sexy "New York Thug" accent? No, all that is great, but it's that melancholy sweetness that infuses his face in repose. A lot of kerfluffle has been made over what an amazing actor he is (and he is great) but my personal theory is that he is most likely bringing out some heretofore hidden side of his kaleidoscopically complex personality, which in a sense isn't acting, it's just being, but I'll take it.

The plot is a cute tangle of various people being in love with each other, some requited, others not. The main plotline is hapless pre-divorcee Steve Carell finding Ryan's character (called Jacob) in a bar, and getting a man-over to emerge from his divorce cocoon ready to date.

I have to say, the music in the movie is really stupendous. The scenes in the bar have earthshaking, thumping, fuzzy not- quite- dance music (think club remix of Kylie Minogue) that is very real and very, very sexy (not the bossa nova crap they usually show in "clubs" in movies). Whatever music they play while the camera pans up and over a leonine Ryan Gosling as he lounges over a second floor balcony surveying his prey while waiting for Steve Carell to show up is *perfect*.

The style of the movie is well done- it's light, which is something you don't often see in movies like this--the movie lightly *shows* you things rather than having reams of exposition, or worse, leaving you wondering "wait, how does Aunt Myrtle own a classic 1963 stingray again?"

The movie was really enjoyable, with a few laugh out loud moments, but the last few minutes dragged, after a truly inspired slapstick routine that expertly tied all the plotlines together in one crazy rainbow of comedy and tragedy. Delightful. And then the movie limped along for like another 30 minutes. It was kind of like Sex and the City 2...you kind of hoped it would end 3 times before it really did.

But other than that one flaw, it was well worth it.

Rating: 3 out of 4---would have been 4 if not for the crippled ending.

Columbiana:


A very, very stylish romp through the gun- heavy fairy tale world of another Luc Besson muse: A female killer who's touched with angelic madness.
Luc Besson does one thing very well: he creates and populates a dense, heavily archetypal world and sprinkles a soupcon of humor, sex and pathos over it, and serves it up piping hot. His world is full of characters that get 2 seconds of screen time (the Gemini Cartel twins, in this case) that you somehow want to know more about. "If you don't know everything there is to know about these twins, you don't belong in this room" the lead FBI agent tells us during a routine ex-positional briefing. But I DO belong in this room! Damn it!

I actually have a more lot to say about this movie. I really liked it. Here's what I liked about it:

The earliest setting, in 1980's Bogata, made me nostalgic for my own neighborhood in the Philippines; "HEY! That's just like MY baranguy!" I thought as the bad guys chased the girl heroine through the tattered and colorful tropic streets, crashing in and out of houses full of religious icons and ladies cooking and doing housework, the camera pulling back to go aerial over the maze of concrete, lush flowers, and laundry EVERYWHERE.

The color palate is really well controlled, so that a simple scene where the grown up heroine rests on her side on a bed is as beautiful as a Vermeer painting.

The set dressing and costuming is well done- everything feels "right", like that character would really choose that item. The movie never seems to skimp or go cheap, another Luc Besson characteristic is screens filled to the brim with meaning- everything is going to be used in one way or another- but it never feels cluttered or obvious. When the heroine takes two wooden toothbrushes with bright light neon blue bristles to defend herself, you 1) believe the bathroom she's in would really stock them and 2) enjoy watching the colorful bristles flash around light butterfly wings in the intricately choreographed fight scene that follows. When the camera pans around the small, cheerful kitchen that orphaned Cateliea comes to at first, it skips and dances over the very ordinary ceramic wall decorations and red and white wallpapers; we later see those same bright, homey decorations mocking her as she wails over the body of her murdered adopted mother.

I also like the way that the story just *is*, there's hole after hole in the plotline, it's basically a crocheted afghan of a plotline, but you don't cay-uhr! Because the movie's so fun. You also kind of go with it, the movie doesn't explain ANYTHING, leaving you floating in the crazy, sexy, stylish and odd world of Luc Besson.

4 out of 4. Go see it. Just go with it.

The Looking Glass

My Dearest Penelope:

I know it has been a long time since my last missive, but ink and paper of a quality I would send to my lady love are in short supply here, so you must content yourself with my last letter and my photograph---although how I wish I had been able to smile at you as the photographer made the print!

Well, my dearest, the weather here is nothing short of a miracle, balmy and breezy. As I stroll the promenade on the Bay of Manila I can only wish that you were here to see it all. The very creamiest of the cream of society is all here, taking in the sights as they cruise the South Seas. Cafes, restaurants serving the freshest, most succulent seafood, and of course shops that have the most exquisite fabrics to tempt even the most jaded seamstress to spend every centivo in her purse---everything is here. Anything a man could desire or dream is all spread out, under the gently waving palms.

Small brown children scamper between the white clad ladies, carrying baskets of mangoes and coconut juice for sale, and vendors sing out their wares in the lilting, melodic local tongues--so different from our broad American tones and blended words.

The American military walks around like so many red coated flamingos, girls flirting with them but of course never daring to do more than peer around the lace edge of the skin- protecting parasol carried by their duenna; for fear they will "lose everything"--if a man were so to much as touch their bare wrist shame would come to the whole family.

On our days off Hensely and I take long walks in the coffee and rice plantations that his family owns, or play cards at the Admirals Club, the rough, sweet local rum served with generous handfuls of mint and a whisper of soda. The whole afternoon can pass this way, as we play Pusoy, watching the coolies in the fields, it's often too hot for even conversation.

There are few other women here, so for now my dear I think it's best for you to stay in our beloved New York until perhaps I can find a proper home for us. But know each day in this sun drenched paradise is not quite perfect until I can hold you in my arms my beloved.

My everlasting Love, Phillips Exeter, American Businessman stationed in Manila, 1901.

Finally

ONE YEAR ANNIV!

So for my one year anniv party, I valiantly attempted once again to have people over and SUCCESS!!!

Thanks mostly to the bossiness and sweetness that is fabulous Bry, most of my "wave mates" from my training class came, as well as 5 guys from next door, Ant, and Am-boy, who brought a couple guys with him. So it was Bry, Nit-Nit, Freddie, Emon, Thon, Nonnie, Am-boy, Ant, Randy (not the American, a different Randy), Fitz, Enzo, Honorio, Mechel, Arman, Marbs, Ankit (for about 5 minutes) Joel-Mari and sort- of Erwin, who, as he threatened, retreated to the bedroom to watch TV in the deepening afternoon gloom and fall asleep (he had a shift at 2 AM and was trying to get some sleep).

So here's what I served:

Naomi's Electric Lemonade:

Take one bottle of Absolut Apeach and one bottle of Lemon Ice Soda from the organic shop and combine them in a plastic pitcher, then add lime slices, and freeze (the alcohol will keep it liquid).

Tastes like *pure heaven*.

Naomi's Monster Egg Salad:

4 hard boiled eggs, a couple teaspoons of mayo, a handful of chopped onion and two or three green onions all blended and refridgerated for a couple hours. It's very onion-y. Yummers.

It was actually pretty fun, Bry brought a cake with one candle (eek, so cute) and they also brought something extremely scary-- fingers of sticky rice that had been char-cooked and had to be dipped in, like marzipan icing. Just like it sounds, taste wise. Only had one of those.

The only "down" was that the party was so male-heavy. Only two girls showed up (actually this is a long time issue for me, for some reason, I have equal number of male and female friends; but my female friends tend to be married/ dating and my male friends tend to be "permanent bachelors"; ie, they're all availiable to party down on a Sat afternoon.

So we talked, tested each other on Trivial Pursuit, drank, laughed, the guys bought and ate an entire roasted chicken (from somewhere!) and then everyone drifted off slowly, leaving just me and Ant.

Ant has actually visited me at the house I live in now before, when I stayed there in Oct, and we sat for awhile and talked. I listed him as my emergency contact and my coworker had to ask him for his current phone number, and he told me he was suprized and flattered by this. It's a sweetly sad feeling to hang out "apres le guerre" with someone you were once *crazy* about, just talking about "the good times", and once again, I was reminded of how much I liked him and of course still do--the fire that used to be is more of a warm glow, but I still adore him and I'm glad he was the one to stay late and chat with me. Having "broken up" and made up no less than five times, it's pretty obvious that he's a bit of a cad and equally obvious that I can't stay mad at him for any length of time. Little charmer....

A great night.

I heard....

So, it's hard to know where to start on this one:

First, in the call center industry, it's a given that there is crazy gossip, 24-7, about everyone. And another "full disclaimer" is that I, too, love to gossip. However, there's gossip and there's gossip, ya know?

Recently a series of events happened that I'd like to discuss. It started back when I first got here-- my first "wave" of trainees contained this one kid "Matt" (named changed to protect the clueless) who was a team favorite for being sweet but totally clueless. Every week without fail he was in the hot seat for failing scores on "Understandability" from customers. And every week we would groan as we saw his name on reports. Then he finally got it together and he was immediately transferred to another dept, where there is no customer feedback. Heh. Anyhoo, he was always "the apple of my eye" even during training, but I would like to stress that this WAS NOT ROMANTIC.

So anyhoo, I gave him a test version of a program I was trying and followed up with him a few times, leading him to "friend" me on FB, a request I somehow let "time out" by accident. So then I get a message "Hey Na, how come you didn't friend me?" I was like "uh, no idea. Let me rectify that."

So fast forward to a few weeks later, it's kind of a grey zone where I *sort of* feel like he's "testing the waters" but not really. It's actually annoyingly common for much younger guys to try to make friends with me for hazy reasons- like, they sort of want to be friends, but sort of want to dance around flirty behavior, and they also sort of want their binkie, if you know what I mean.

Well, I invited him to a few group events, no go. Too shy, too broke, etc. Also add in texting back and forth and FB messaging, and of course the obligatory "walk over and say hi" at work. Seriously, not exactly US magazine cover story shit here. So after two attempts I gave up and then I got a message from him asking me to attend his *mother's birthday party* at his family house.
Uh, okay?
So I went, after quizzing my local girlfriends here "what's this?" My one coworker chortled around his coffee that "this" was becoming a pattern--out of seemingly nowhere, some guy picks up and asks me to meet the entire hoot and holler. Which HAS happened THREE times.
So the event was a study in super laid back anything but romantic times. His fellow Eagle Scouts (NO I'm not making that up) showed up and awkwardly shuffled around staring at their shoes and obviously fervently wishing that a comet would strike the tin shack we found ourselves in. At any rate, I would like to point out that there was THREE other FEMALE coworkers there.

But....the thing is...Matt was sort of frisking around being solicitous to me, finding me a special jeep, getting an electric fan for me, insisting on everyone speaking English, asking me if it was okay if he rushed back and forth between the main house and our perch on the "porch" (the immediate 3 feet outside of the door). So to be honest, I sort of did get the feeling it was somewhat romantic. That's okay, no big deal.

Well, then the next day the shit hits the fan thusly: to boil down a long FB conversation, he basically tried to backpedal all the way to "altar boy and flower girl" saying that he couldn't come to my housewarming because "people might gossip and you and me". Uh WHAT YOU AND ME?

Dewd.
Rilly.

Anyhow, I tore him up one side and down the other making the following points;

1) Is it really that horrifying to have people speculate that we might be dating? (SIXTEEN PLASTIC SURGEONS WORKING HOURS ON MY FACE *JUST* TO MAKE IT PRESENTABLE!!! Shout out to those of you who know where that comes from)

As my sassy female coworker put it "Uh, look in the mirror, Tom Cruise. It's a *compliment* that people think you two are dating."

2) Gossip is unavoidable. Either you let it drag you down into Starkweather town, or you rise above. I was like "Matt? What's there to tell? When people ask you, just be like 'we're friends. That's it." (Having said that, we all know that *is* the standard disclaimer for two people who shouldn't be but are.)

3) This isn't high school and even in high school I didn't play schoolyard games. We haven't, aren't, and aren't going to do anything "wrong" so there's no reason to worry.

4) what's the worst case scenario here? Are you running for Pope next week?


So he eventually said he was sorry, and took it back and tried to kick over the traces, even talking to me the next day and saying he was "sorry if I upset to you". But STILL.

The thing is, people get 'tight' over a Filipino male dating or hanging around me. If one has it, either everyone does or no-one does over here. And Filipino men don't benefit from dating Americans the way Filipino women do (because Male Americans support the whole lady's family, but it doesn't work that way unless you're Leo, my most recent ex. Heh.), so people get angry, jealous, scared, freaked out, and titillated. This was one of the things that broke me and my ex up.

(Oh, and Matt told me "I was just worried about people talking about me and you because I heard them talking about you and Ives yesterday." GOD DAMN IT. That's ANCIENT HISTORY. I've gone to great lengths to show "no fear" on the floor when it comes to him, even being "nice" to him when all I want to do is sucker- punch the F****r. Go know. I guess the "celebrity breakup" still has legs. Ugh.)

Well, Readers, When you live in Paradise, sometimes even the sweetest sunset gets a little...bloody. Until next time, XOXO....gossip girl.

Movie Reviews! Part vingt-et-un

Prom:

A funny cotton candy confection that Amanda and I impulsively stopped into one lazy Sunday. Surprizingly good for what it was, which was a by the numbers teen romadey.

The very thin plot line is a kind of sweet version of Breakfast Club, with the blonde preppy princess uniting with the latter day Bender to make prom decorations (eek! Okay, I kind of dug this) after they are destroyed in a fire (heh). Side plots include a nerdy dude desperately searching for a date, a girl agonizing over leaving her high school sweetie to go to college, two best friends (male) torn apart by one liking a girl and moving "past" their friendship, and a sort of mini "Stella got her groove back" girl who leaves her cheatin' jerk of a dude right before prom and goes solo.

The movie seems to be aimed at a rather odd demographic: Mothers about my age taking their ten year olds to a "clean" teen movie. Like, if I had a baby *right* after high school, she'd be eating Goobers with me while we watched this movie.

As it was, the movie was a sweet valentine to high school nostalgia everywhere- and John Cusack movies; the sweet nerd who takes his own stepsister to the prom is named "Llyod" (Hello "Say Anything"--one of the BEST movies ever made in this vein), there is a scene for scene reshoot of the Breakfast Club's deserted school hallway chase, and the closing prom scene where the punk comes to claim his preppy sweetie (Valley Girl, another great, great movie).

It's predictable, but that's sort of the point. There's one noteworthy scene, which is the "heroine takes her reluctant punky friend-cum- love interest to shop for dresses" and she comes out in various wedding cake creations to the strains of a cutesy song. Every "no" dress is very similar- tiers of ruched ruffles in pastel shimmery taffeta, strapless, and with a very distinctive design detail- the sweetheart part of the neckline is outlined with rhinestones. Where exactly in middle Michigan is THIS shop that stocks Vera Wang Purple Label, or whatever these are? But whatever, it's cute.

Rating: 3 out of 4: fluffy, popcorn fun.

Captain America:

Dear Mom:

This movie is totally your cup of tea.

No swearing, nudity, pot, adultry, racism, or anything else offensive. The jokes are creaky. The costumes are (or appear to be) pretty accurate. The plot line is SUPER patriotic and predictable. The good guys win. There's a cute multi racial crew of tag-alongs for the super hero. There's even a Framing Device opener!!

Hurry! See it before it closes!

Anyway, Erwin was disgusted and gave it a four out of 10, but I gave it a weak 5 just to be contrary. It was "eh". Very patchworky- like the faceoff over a boiling pit of fire on a catwalk, the disfigured villian, the plucky sassy heroine, the playboy/ cad best friend (played by Carter Baison, Gossip Girl fans!!).

It's not bad, it's just really, really, slow. It needs...something. Adam did make a valuable point tho: It's not to be judged on it's merit as a movie-movie, it's a superhero-movie. In other words, fanboys united!

Rating: 2 out of 4: only if there's nothing else on.

Planet of the Apes:

Okay, for some reason I had a really, really strong emotional reaction to this movie that I had to struggle to keep under control since my friend Bry was there with me and he seemed totally cool as a cucumber while I could barely see the screen since I was so drippy-eyes.

I'm not sure why I keep watching movies that involve ape sanctuaries in any capacity and think I'm going to be "cool"--it even has a silverback test the grass with his foot and be scared since he's been in a cage all his life!!

Dudes, I was somewhat of a small scale hot mess. Scenes where I was choked up: The beginning. The middle. The end.

Heh. I don't know why monkeys have such an effect on me (I'm sure I'm not alone, since they are so human like) but why am I not similarly moved by scenes of humans being in jail, busting out, coming home, etc. It was a very successful mix of creepy and touching, how they did that is beyond me. Well, James Franco's involved, and he's the hipster version of Leonardo Da Vinci so anything he does will be pretty good.

Anyway, as Ceasar the ape finds his true calling swinging through the California Redwoods, and the seasons change around him through the magic of CGI to show the passage of time, and then the camera majestically swings to show him as a adult, fully aware of his half-human, half- beast entity, a melancholy god, I was seriously contemplating snatching Bry's hankie off his lap for what promised to be a really good cry. This shit's deep, y'all. Don't have a glass of wine before going alone to the last showing of the day.

Rating: 4 out of 4.