Movie Reviews! Part vingt-et-un

Prom:

A funny cotton candy confection that Amanda and I impulsively stopped into one lazy Sunday. Surprizingly good for what it was, which was a by the numbers teen romadey.

The very thin plot line is a kind of sweet version of Breakfast Club, with the blonde preppy princess uniting with the latter day Bender to make prom decorations (eek! Okay, I kind of dug this) after they are destroyed in a fire (heh). Side plots include a nerdy dude desperately searching for a date, a girl agonizing over leaving her high school sweetie to go to college, two best friends (male) torn apart by one liking a girl and moving "past" their friendship, and a sort of mini "Stella got her groove back" girl who leaves her cheatin' jerk of a dude right before prom and goes solo.

The movie seems to be aimed at a rather odd demographic: Mothers about my age taking their ten year olds to a "clean" teen movie. Like, if I had a baby *right* after high school, she'd be eating Goobers with me while we watched this movie.

As it was, the movie was a sweet valentine to high school nostalgia everywhere- and John Cusack movies; the sweet nerd who takes his own stepsister to the prom is named "Llyod" (Hello "Say Anything"--one of the BEST movies ever made in this vein), there is a scene for scene reshoot of the Breakfast Club's deserted school hallway chase, and the closing prom scene where the punk comes to claim his preppy sweetie (Valley Girl, another great, great movie).

It's predictable, but that's sort of the point. There's one noteworthy scene, which is the "heroine takes her reluctant punky friend-cum- love interest to shop for dresses" and she comes out in various wedding cake creations to the strains of a cutesy song. Every "no" dress is very similar- tiers of ruched ruffles in pastel shimmery taffeta, strapless, and with a very distinctive design detail- the sweetheart part of the neckline is outlined with rhinestones. Where exactly in middle Michigan is THIS shop that stocks Vera Wang Purple Label, or whatever these are? But whatever, it's cute.

Rating: 3 out of 4: fluffy, popcorn fun.

Captain America:

Dear Mom:

This movie is totally your cup of tea.

No swearing, nudity, pot, adultry, racism, or anything else offensive. The jokes are creaky. The costumes are (or appear to be) pretty accurate. The plot line is SUPER patriotic and predictable. The good guys win. There's a cute multi racial crew of tag-alongs for the super hero. There's even a Framing Device opener!!

Hurry! See it before it closes!

Anyway, Erwin was disgusted and gave it a four out of 10, but I gave it a weak 5 just to be contrary. It was "eh". Very patchworky- like the faceoff over a boiling pit of fire on a catwalk, the disfigured villian, the plucky sassy heroine, the playboy/ cad best friend (played by Carter Baison, Gossip Girl fans!!).

It's not bad, it's just really, really, slow. It needs...something. Adam did make a valuable point tho: It's not to be judged on it's merit as a movie-movie, it's a superhero-movie. In other words, fanboys united!

Rating: 2 out of 4: only if there's nothing else on.

Planet of the Apes:

Okay, for some reason I had a really, really strong emotional reaction to this movie that I had to struggle to keep under control since my friend Bry was there with me and he seemed totally cool as a cucumber while I could barely see the screen since I was so drippy-eyes.

I'm not sure why I keep watching movies that involve ape sanctuaries in any capacity and think I'm going to be "cool"--it even has a silverback test the grass with his foot and be scared since he's been in a cage all his life!!

Dudes, I was somewhat of a small scale hot mess. Scenes where I was choked up: The beginning. The middle. The end.

Heh. I don't know why monkeys have such an effect on me (I'm sure I'm not alone, since they are so human like) but why am I not similarly moved by scenes of humans being in jail, busting out, coming home, etc. It was a very successful mix of creepy and touching, how they did that is beyond me. Well, James Franco's involved, and he's the hipster version of Leonardo Da Vinci so anything he does will be pretty good.

Anyway, as Ceasar the ape finds his true calling swinging through the California Redwoods, and the seasons change around him through the magic of CGI to show the passage of time, and then the camera majestically swings to show him as a adult, fully aware of his half-human, half- beast entity, a melancholy god, I was seriously contemplating snatching Bry's hankie off his lap for what promised to be a really good cry. This shit's deep, y'all. Don't have a glass of wine before going alone to the last showing of the day.

Rating: 4 out of 4.