I heard....

So, it's hard to know where to start on this one:

First, in the call center industry, it's a given that there is crazy gossip, 24-7, about everyone. And another "full disclaimer" is that I, too, love to gossip. However, there's gossip and there's gossip, ya know?

Recently a series of events happened that I'd like to discuss. It started back when I first got here-- my first "wave" of trainees contained this one kid "Matt" (named changed to protect the clueless) who was a team favorite for being sweet but totally clueless. Every week without fail he was in the hot seat for failing scores on "Understandability" from customers. And every week we would groan as we saw his name on reports. Then he finally got it together and he was immediately transferred to another dept, where there is no customer feedback. Heh. Anyhoo, he was always "the apple of my eye" even during training, but I would like to stress that this WAS NOT ROMANTIC.

So anyhoo, I gave him a test version of a program I was trying and followed up with him a few times, leading him to "friend" me on FB, a request I somehow let "time out" by accident. So then I get a message "Hey Na, how come you didn't friend me?" I was like "uh, no idea. Let me rectify that."

So fast forward to a few weeks later, it's kind of a grey zone where I *sort of* feel like he's "testing the waters" but not really. It's actually annoyingly common for much younger guys to try to make friends with me for hazy reasons- like, they sort of want to be friends, but sort of want to dance around flirty behavior, and they also sort of want their binkie, if you know what I mean.

Well, I invited him to a few group events, no go. Too shy, too broke, etc. Also add in texting back and forth and FB messaging, and of course the obligatory "walk over and say hi" at work. Seriously, not exactly US magazine cover story shit here. So after two attempts I gave up and then I got a message from him asking me to attend his *mother's birthday party* at his family house.
Uh, okay?
So I went, after quizzing my local girlfriends here "what's this?" My one coworker chortled around his coffee that "this" was becoming a pattern--out of seemingly nowhere, some guy picks up and asks me to meet the entire hoot and holler. Which HAS happened THREE times.
So the event was a study in super laid back anything but romantic times. His fellow Eagle Scouts (NO I'm not making that up) showed up and awkwardly shuffled around staring at their shoes and obviously fervently wishing that a comet would strike the tin shack we found ourselves in. At any rate, I would like to point out that there was THREE other FEMALE coworkers there.

But....the thing is...Matt was sort of frisking around being solicitous to me, finding me a special jeep, getting an electric fan for me, insisting on everyone speaking English, asking me if it was okay if he rushed back and forth between the main house and our perch on the "porch" (the immediate 3 feet outside of the door). So to be honest, I sort of did get the feeling it was somewhat romantic. That's okay, no big deal.

Well, then the next day the shit hits the fan thusly: to boil down a long FB conversation, he basically tried to backpedal all the way to "altar boy and flower girl" saying that he couldn't come to my housewarming because "people might gossip and you and me". Uh WHAT YOU AND ME?

Dewd.
Rilly.

Anyhow, I tore him up one side and down the other making the following points;

1) Is it really that horrifying to have people speculate that we might be dating? (SIXTEEN PLASTIC SURGEONS WORKING HOURS ON MY FACE *JUST* TO MAKE IT PRESENTABLE!!! Shout out to those of you who know where that comes from)

As my sassy female coworker put it "Uh, look in the mirror, Tom Cruise. It's a *compliment* that people think you two are dating."

2) Gossip is unavoidable. Either you let it drag you down into Starkweather town, or you rise above. I was like "Matt? What's there to tell? When people ask you, just be like 'we're friends. That's it." (Having said that, we all know that *is* the standard disclaimer for two people who shouldn't be but are.)

3) This isn't high school and even in high school I didn't play schoolyard games. We haven't, aren't, and aren't going to do anything "wrong" so there's no reason to worry.

4) what's the worst case scenario here? Are you running for Pope next week?


So he eventually said he was sorry, and took it back and tried to kick over the traces, even talking to me the next day and saying he was "sorry if I upset to you". But STILL.

The thing is, people get 'tight' over a Filipino male dating or hanging around me. If one has it, either everyone does or no-one does over here. And Filipino men don't benefit from dating Americans the way Filipino women do (because Male Americans support the whole lady's family, but it doesn't work that way unless you're Leo, my most recent ex. Heh.), so people get angry, jealous, scared, freaked out, and titillated. This was one of the things that broke me and my ex up.

(Oh, and Matt told me "I was just worried about people talking about me and you because I heard them talking about you and Ives yesterday." GOD DAMN IT. That's ANCIENT HISTORY. I've gone to great lengths to show "no fear" on the floor when it comes to him, even being "nice" to him when all I want to do is sucker- punch the F****r. Go know. I guess the "celebrity breakup" still has legs. Ugh.)

Well, Readers, When you live in Paradise, sometimes even the sweetest sunset gets a little...bloody. Until next time, XOXO....gossip girl.