Movie reviews

Movie reviews:
"Takers".
A fast paced by the numbers bank robbers caper, complete with Russian (!!) side- villains, a subway tunnel aspect, a corrupt cop you never saw coming, a cop who's *thisclose* to solving it but no-one will believe him, etc. (you heard it here first- my prediction is that "bank robbers" will be the new "vampires" in about 6 months or so). The sort- of twist of the movie is it focuses on the rarely- seen " black upper class" ( Although how "upper" is hard to say...I guess money doesn't get any newer than that which was robbed from a bank!) black characters. Swanning around like something from a Hennessey "Privileged" ad, the mostly black characters drive fancy cars, smoke cigars, get engaged to Zoe Saldana (the new Mia Long), etc. The "blackstocracy"looks good, but it's a shame that they're shown as having to steal everything they've acquired.

Rarely do you hear me say so- and- so can't act (actually I've never said it. I'm as easy to fool as a grandmother with cataracts wearing Blu Blockers), but my god does Chris Brown struggle mightily- yet- unsuccessfully with that paper bag! Such clunkers as "Our biggest heist yet and you don't see all that jazzed, bro" are given to "the weakest link", a man mostly likely cast for his almost inhuman ability to run, jump and "execute"(not sure of the right verb for the urban gymnastics called "parkor") parkor in a dazzling series of stunts during a key footrace scene.

Also we have what I think of as "too much charisma for one room". Several "Smoove- D" characters are actually given rather a short shrift by the addition of competing "types". Chris Brown is the well dressed, athletic, and handsome bank robber by night, playah by day...unfortunately so are the other 2 main black guys, as well as the two white guys.

Side note: Junkie sister who throws a monkey wrench in the works is named: Naomi!!!

TI Payne is back, fresh from the unsuccessful attempts by the State of California correctional institution to tame him ( in real life, actually, and in the movie too), which have merely added to the cold, hard, speculative sparkle in his eyes. He makes a chillingly convincing villain, and his unmistakable patois- a kind of tightened- up Drrrty Souf drawl that gives his songs their completely unique sound, makes for an unexpectedly zingy delivery on such run of the mill jokes as "I'll put three holes in your head like a bowling ball if you don't talk": it becomes:"Awll phut three hawles incha heyad like a bowlin' bawl if yauw dun't tulk" (one of the only lines that got a laugh from the audience, by the way).

Someone I think is Brad Renfro, with pachinko- machine eyes and a bad color, plays a throwaway role (red shirt alert!!) with one good fight scene with what must be the sturdiest broom handle in the Universe (he uses it to crack about 6 huge bad guys over the melon successfully before it breaks), which leads me to what I wanted to discuss: the "showdown" scene.

Shot in slo mo and scored to (very oddly) hauntingly ethereal violins, it also had an unintentionally funny aspect: the sound of the bullets is muffled and echoed out (sorry I can't be more technical here, Matt!), to give the viewer a kind of "you are there! Shell shock!!" feeling, and the vocal track is raised, so that the totally awesome mundane lines that the characters pop off are given "Apocalypse Now" status. "I'mmmmm owwwttt uvvv ammmooohhhh" echoes the Darth Vadar voice of one of the dudes.

This leads me to discuss another odd yet similar choice: during the climatic robbery that leads to the shoot out, a complex series of events leads to a face off, during which handheld cameras doing their best Tony Scott impression induce seizures in the less prepared audience members and we're treated to the voice of TI's (called "Ghost"- can't decide if I like that or if it's totally cheesy) character sort of giving a color commentary blow by blow (he's ostensibly communicating to his brothers in arms via a blue tooth mic thing) with such lines as "He's crazy! Watch out! What's he doing now?" etc. I found this rather an odd misstep, especially considering the delirious fun that "Roll Bounce" (his cinematic debut) was, and since TI is listed as a producer. Also, TI has a rather odd stiffness in some scenes (a high school production of Hamlet with an understudy rushed to the stage comes to mind) which is also at odds with his usual limber, menacing, natural, and quicksilver music video persona. I wonder what's up with that.

Anyhow...two stars. Good enough for 100P, but wouldn't recommend storming SM right away.

"You again":
Cute, also by the numbers comedy, with two of the AWESOMEST WOMEN ON THE PLANET, Sigourney Weaver and Jamie Lee Curtis. Unexpectedly funny (although most of the jokes either fell flat or were over the heads of the Pinoy audience), especially a scene in which a hopeless fuddler of a character tries to storm off emotionally and is seen in the background of the scene (once he exits the two primaries are shown talking) trying unsuccessfully to swerve around an old lady and her dog.

Also the wedding planner (that super zippy tiny little blonde opera singer with the Minnie Mouse voice) is very funny, and her entrance as a ribbon curtain gymnastics dancer is gold. (not sure how to describe this- it's a new type of "Circe Du so lei" thing where you sort of go stripper pole on a long curtain of flexible silk). It's so over the top and great. Jamie Lee (couldn't love her more) is funny, warn, and natural, especially when she confesses to Signourey's character "When I saw you flipping your hair around I was all jealous. I almost got extensions". It's delivered so well it almost sounds like an ad- lib. Signourney's character is a nerd made well, who's given such throw away gems as: "Sometimes I think it [my private jet] owns me". (with a faux- resigned face, perfectly judged.)
I was laughing out loud the whole time.

Rating: 3 stars. If it's on cable, put the phone on silent and curl up with a bottle of wine and enjoy.

Well...later, followers!