So, Saturday Am dawns muggy and overcast, naturally, since I'm due to take my vacation to Subic. I get dressed, hop in the car and start the two hour trip there. On the way we pass rice fields, jungle, and water buffalo. On the winding road up to the secluded beaches, we pass a sextet of monkeys running along the side of the road, like something from an Apocalypse movie, and I yell out to the driver: "Monkeys! Did you see that!" He giggles: "Yes, Ma'am. Monkeys." totally unimpressed. Ho hum.
I arrive at the Arizona hotel (pix on my FB) and after texting a sweetly worried Antony that I'm fine and all in one piece, I put on my suit and dive into the pool. It's warm and dappled with afternoon sun. I sun myself for awhile on the deck, take a long nap with the cable TV running on low in the background, and then get up and dress for dinner. Dinner is at the South Seas Bar and grill, which is the open air bar attached to the hotel. The Aussie owner and mostly Aussie guests are watching Ruggers finals, so I just have the best grilled cheese sandwich I've had since I've been here, and a few drinks.
I toddle over to "Scores" bar, which is on the other side of the lobby, and am mobbed by the Hooters- waitress type girls who are all dying to play pool with someone who's not mainly interesting in pinching their butt. After one drink at Scores, I tell the ruddy, hearty Norwegian man, Trig, who was my billiards partner, to "be good" and go to bed early.
The next day I get up, breakfast at South Seas ("American Breakfast"- toast, eggs, bacon, and sausage, and coffee), and then do my souvenir shopping. Then lunch at a little greasy spoon, get a pedicure, then it's back to the pool for another few hours, nap, then an extremely ill advised dinner adventure I'll get into in the next paragraph. The weather was sunny and warm, so I got a little color, which I proudly showed off to my deeply caramel friends and my coffee- colored main squeeze when I got back to town. "Oh, you didn't get any color?" they asked with sympathy. Hee.
The guidebook recommends "Johan and Maria's dive and wreck center" for it's "extensive" menu. Well, it was...extensive. Nine glorious pages of American, Italian, and Pinoy food, all described in loving broken English.
I chose the following:
Stuffed shells: two shells with cheese, shrimp, mushroom and chicken in lemon sauces.
Sounds delish! Just wait.
Veggie option V9: one half french bread, assorted veggies, and greek salsa.
Sounds delightful! Just wait.
Steeling myself on the extremely bumpy trike ride over there, I repeated my food mantra: What would [my hero] Tony Bourdain do in this circumstance? Naturally I was nervous about the food, but I'm here for adventure, not to be a baby!
The wails of the crying baby mingle with the lightning far offshore, and the happy grunts of the huge group of Germans coming in from a long day of diving. (Subic is mostly for shallow and deep water sea diving). I drink my San Mig light, which hits the spot, refreshing me. The food arrives.
The shells are two gigantic sea shells with what appears to be stew of some kind ladled into it, with a hearty sprinkling of cheese from the bag. And it's served piping hot. It's about 95 and muggy. Just what I wanted. Oh, only not.
The V9 is, basically, mashed cauliflower with some unidentifiable other veggies, and three slices of baguette. It's also cold, with a texture like homemade hummus.
I storm over to the waitress. "Is this what I ordered?"
Oh, it is.
Now, the food was "okay", it's just SO not what I wanted. It was, like everything here, inexplicably heavy- hearty, stick to your ribs, hold out against the no'easter food. Why, why, why???
And the menu advertised imported, home- made ice cream that I was interested in but then I told myself "Naomi. Those who can't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
And I left in a huff. Honestly, I should have just had the 45P pizza slice from the parlor up the street!
So, Monday dawns, and I get my brekkers by the sea, get my things, and toddle back home.
On the way home I listen to "Danger Zone" by Gwen Stefani, and watch the scenery slide by. The most amazing thing was the "open" cemetery. On a terraced hillside, stretching for miles, marble coffins and sepulchers are placed openly, so that what in the states would be a grave marker here is an entire marble coffin. Not very good planning for the inevitable zombie uprising I would say, but eerie, gorgeous, and totally unique. All white slabs rising jagged from the hills for as far as you can see, both up and across.
back, with a little pink-tan glow and happy
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